Here’s something we’ve learned over the years — the more internal discipline the adults impose on themselves, the less you have to discipline the kids.
What does that entail?
One of the challenges of schools is the myriad different ways adults interpret policies, pedagogies, rules… and on some level, that shouldn’t shock us – especially when it comes to the different ways adults react to student behavior. The human aspect of teaching means that teachers will have different thresholds for student behavior, different buttons that get pushed. It’s to be expected. But it can lead to all kinds of misunderstandings in schools.
This is why it’s so important that adults exert internal discipline on each other to be proactive as much as possible so that the space between the adults is lessened. When that happens, many of the issues that get kids into trouble can be avoided.
So how do you do it?
- Work on owning what your buttons are, and let kids know what they are up front. Are you someone who can’t when kids are late to class? Tell the kids. And be honest, say, “I know this may not seem like a big deal, but it’s my thing.” When we admit that our hot buttons may not be other people’s we acknowledge our humanity in a way that lets the kids accept our needs — and it makes it easier for us to accept student needs as well.
- Collaborate with colleagues. Talk to teachers about creating positive culture school-wide. Talk about creating “safety-valves” for teachers and students so that everyone knows how they can de-escalate themselves before people get into situations they cannot back away from.
- Find consistency where ever possible. When it comes to most policies and procedures, when teachers can find common ground, it makes it easier for students to have one frame of reference all day long.
- Don’t solve problems with more rules. Take a quick look at many school’s code of conduct, and I’m sure you can look at some of the rules and think, “Someone did something to create that rule.” Instead, look at patterns of behaviors and situations, and ask how adults can change their behavior to create the conditions that would make it easier for students to meet expectations. A simple example – every year, we notice that students are starting to stretch the time in between classes. Rather than make draconian rules, we make it a point of being at the door, greeting students. And teachers who aren’t teaching that band make a point of being in the halls at the change of classes. And every year, we forget… and we see the problem again, and we tighten up our own behaviors.
When we are intentional about our expectations and, perhaps more importantly, about the systems and structures we put in place to build a healthy culture – and then when we base our actions around that intentionality, we create the conditions in which students can thrive. By being disciplined in our actions, we get to spend a great deal less time on disciplining the kids.
It’s one more way we help students focus on their learning, rather than wasting their time trying to figure out the adults and play “the game of school.” And again, it’s one more thing we can do that will have its most profound effect on the kids who have historically been least served by school. And when we do that, we all win.
Students first! Learning first! We are the adults and need to BE the adults. It’s just that some days teachers need more support because we are human and can have bad days, too. But our bad days should not impact our students’s learning. It is our job to put our students first. When we fall down, I hope that we apologize and excuse ourselves hopefully, help to humanize our students too.