First: Capital One — a note to the ad agency — David Spade’s "Look How Smarmy I Can Be" act got tired over a decade ago. Hearing him find new ways to say "No" just causes my ears to bleed. (I admit, the confetti about the wedding comment was funny once, but not eight hundred times.) This ad was vaguely amusing on the Unintentional Comedy Scale because it causes viewers to think, "Well… that is the end of his career," but it does nothing else. Take this off the air.

Second: McDonalds Chicken Select "Hands Off My Chicken" — o.k. — all of these are just really moronic, but the one that makes me worry that I’m losing brain cells just by being in the room with the television when it comes on is the one with the twenty-something in the knit cap. First — tell her to find an accent and stick with it. If she’s trying to sound "street," she doesn’t. She looks like some wanna-be hippie chick trying to sound tough, and it just doesn’t work.

(O.k. — the meaningful posts will start again soon, I promise, but right now, I’m tired and this is the best I can do.)