Practical Theory - Fatherhood

Old Ideas, New Tools, Teaching... and a Quick Thought....

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 08:44:56 -0700

[This is an opening salvo....]

We do not and cannot have the oversight in our kids' lives that we once may have had -- their speed is now too great, and their reach is now far too broad. We must, therefore, be all the more proactive, rather than reactive, in the way we teach them to navigate their world -- in the ways in which we teach them to be good, kind, wise people.

[I need to play with this idea a lot more.]

Lazy Saturday Afternoon

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 16:35:40 -0700

One of Jakob's favorite things to do these days is to make movies on my computer... so what better way to spend a few hours this afternoon?

Theo's Baby Naming

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 20:21:46 -0700

Today was a wonderful day, filled with family and long-time friends... the best way I can sum it up is by posting the pictures and the speech that I read.

I want to welcome everyone to this ceremony today. And, I wanted to speak to that notion of everyone because it gets both to the heart of the day and of how we feel about Theo.

Today is the day that we welcome Theo into the Jewish community by giving him his Hebrew name, but it is also the day we welcome into our larger community, made up of so many wonderful members of our family and friends.

In all our lives, the notion of community is important. But for us, this community has really meant something very special. The people in this room were with us at CHOP, were on the other end of phone calls and emails in those first few months when we really werent sure what was going on day-to-day. And as much as today is a celebration of Theo, it is also a celebration of all of you and the role you play in our life and Theos life.

Theos Hebrew name is Todros which means gift. Kat and I both feel the gift that Theo is in our life every day, but Theos life also makes us so powerfully aware of the many gifts in our lives the gift of a wonderful marriage that only seems to grow stronger every day, the gift of two wonderful little boys who smile and laugh with ease, the gift of family who are willing to walk this path with us, and the gift of friends who give of their time and their love over and over again. And we know that Theos appreciation of all of you all of these gifts that he is surrounded by will continue to grow as he does, and we know that for as much as you are all gifts to him, his joy, his strength, his laughter, his life will be a gift to you as well.

So we thank all of you for coming today, for traveling to share Theos naming with us, but more importantly for sharing your lives with Theo and with us.

Theo -- A Wish For You

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 06:02:23 -0700

Later today is Theo's baby naming... a few months later than usual because of all the "fun" we had this fall with him.

This is the poem I've asked my mother to read. It really speaks to my hopes and values to him.

A Wish For You
by Donna Dargis

If there could be only one thing
In life for me to teach you,
I would teach you to love.
To respect others so that you may
Find respect in yourself.
To learn the value of giving,
So that if ever there comes a time
In your life that someone really needs,
You will give.
To act in a manner that you would wish to be treated;
To be proud of yourself.
To laugh and smile as much as you can,
In order to help bring joy
Back into this world.
To have faith in others;
To be understanding.
To stand tall in this world and
To learn to depend on yourself.
To only take from this Earth
Those things which you really need,
So there will be enough for others.
To not depend on money or material things
For your happiness, but
To learn to appreciate the people
Who love you, the simple beauty
That God have you and to find peace
And security within yourself.
To you, my grandchild, I hope I will teach all these things,
For they are love.

Jakob Sings!

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 15:24:37 -0700

For those folks who feel like there hasn't been enough of the boys... here's a movie of Jakob singing. Theo movies to follow soon!

Some Photos!

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 21:27:31 -0700

It's been a while since I've posted some family photos, and let's face it, pictures of Jakob and Theo are a lot more fun than anything I could write.

The boys are doing great... Jakob loves being a big brother, and after all the horror stories people told us about how Jakob would change and get jealous when there was a baby in the house, I'm pleased (o.k. -- thrilled) to report that he's as sweet as can be. He gets very concerned when Theo cries, ("Mommy, Daddy, Theo's crying!!!") and when he and I leave for school in the morning, he loves to kiss Theo before he leaves.

And Theo just gets cuter every day. The hardest part has been making the transition to thinking of him as a healthy baby. Kat and I still get more nervous when he has an extended crying jag than we did with Jakob. Fortunately, those crying jags are pretty few and far between. After all he's been through, he's an amazingly sweet, good-natured little boy.

And we've got Kat's family in town this weekend. Today, Kat's mom got to make cookies with her two oldest grandchildren, and judging by the pictures, a good time was had by all.

I hope everyone out there is getting a chance to relax, recharge the batteries, and spend some time with loved ones over the next few days. I've got a ton of thoughts rolling around, and I'm hoping to get some rest and then do a ton of blogging over the break.

Happy Holidays all!

Family Photo

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:31:50 -0700

Just a few photos from the camera phone from some after dinner family time tonight...

It's been over a week since I posted a family moment. Thought folks might want to see how everyone was doing.

Latest Photos of the Kids...

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:11:15 -0700

Let's get back to what's really important... more pictures of Theo and Jakob. There's a bunch of new photos of Theo and Jakob up on flickr. I imagine those are much more interesting than anything I might write.

What was most fun about the photos from the roof deck is that Jakob needed very little prodding to pose with his brother. Jakob is a camera ham.

More Theo Pics... (and an update)

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 06:05:19 -0700

You asked for it... you got it...

Pictures of Theo!

He's definitely happy to be out of the hospital and home. The doctors thought that being out of the hospital might help the weight gain, and so far, so good. As of Monday, he weighed 7 lbs, 11 oz, and our next weigh-in is on Friday. He's a happy and alert little boy, and he's gotten very adept with his hands very quickly. Kat is happy because he has really long fingers, so she might just have her piano player in Theo. (Although, giving credit where credit is due, Jakob loves to play piano too!)

Theo's proving to be a good sleeper, and I think he'd be an even better sleeper if we could actually let him sleep. We're waking him up every three hours to fatten him up, and we're hoping that, if the weight gain continues, we can let sleeping babies lie.

Jakob is thrilled to have his baby brother home. Every morning when he wakes up, one of the first questions out of his mouth is "Go see Baby Theo?" He loves to help feed Theo, and he loves to sit next to Theo and pat his tummy. It's about the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Happiness is...

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 18:58:04 -0700

Sitting in my favorite chair in my study, typing this blog entry while Theo sleeps contentedly in my lap.

Welcome home, Theo.

Good News Theo Update

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 20:35:00 -0700

[Written this time by Kat...]

Good news from our corner of the world Theo is recovering very nicely from his emergency surgery last Thursday. In fact, we were happy to enjoy an uneventful and drama-free weekend. As of Monday, he was extubated, today his stomach tube was taken out, and tonight his nasal support was taken out we were almost stunned to realize that there was an actual baby underneath!

Theos doctor is going to be conservative on feeding him, etc., and predicts it will likely be 10-14 days before he goes home. He's got a few more hurdles to clear, and the last one will be the next surgery to remove the colostomy bag and reattach the colon in 4-6 weeks, but all of this feels much more doable than it did a week ago. Were proud to say that our Renaissance boy is also contributing to science by participating in a national study on antiseptics in babies under two months of age. Thats his day job. Current hobbies include looking cute, sucking on his pacifier, and trying to make sense of faces.

Were hoping that we don't send out many more update notes we send out because Theo will continue to do well. Wed really like to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and acts of kindness. It has been a tough year, and a really tough couple of weeks, but at no point have we ever felt alone through this, and weve often felt buoyed by the love you have sent our way. Hopefully we are through the worst of it.

As many of you know, we arent particularly religious. However, I was thinking today about how Theodores name translates as gift of God. The silver lining to this whole situation has been another gift weve received -- the wonderful generosity of so many of the people in our lives. For that, and for our sons continuing health, we are extremely grateful.

Best,
Kat, Chris, Jakob and Theo

Theo -- What a Difference a Day Makes...

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 23:41:28 -0700

Hello everyone,

As the saying goes -- what a difference a day makes. Apparently, Theo's GI surgeon was up all last night thinking about Theo (we're actually not sure this particular doctor ever sleeps,) and he apparently had a late-night epiphany. He decided that Theo needed a barium enema (I'm reasonably sure that Theo is rapidly getting sick of enemas) to get a better picture of what was going on in Theo's colon. They found a leak in his colon -- which should explain all of the post-op problems he's been having -- and rushed him into surgery to correct it. They performed an ostomy on him, cleaned out the gunk (I swear that is the term the doctor used) that had leaked, and set him up with a colostomy bag so that the rest of the colon can heal. We're hoping that this, along with a continued massive antibiotic program, puts him back on the right road. He'll have the colostomy bag for four to six weeks so that the colon can heal with a much lower risk of infection, and then, with a little luck, he'll be ready for another surgery to hook his colon back up. Believe it or not, if his condition improves, Theo would be able to come home with us with the colostomy bag, so we're back to hoping we get to take him home in a few weeks. I don't think we're out of the woods yet, but we feel a lot better than we did yesterday. He'll be on the ventilator for a few days, and then it'll be a few more days until they try to start feeding him -- I think, given the problems he had last time, they are going to take their time with those milestones this time around, but the doctors all seem to think that he should really improve now.

In other news, Kat did receive a steroid injection on her back today, and while she therefore can't run in the Olympics or play Major League Baseball, we are hoping it makes her back a ton better.

Thanks to everyone for your concern, thoughts and prayers. When he's old enough to understand, I'm going to show Theo all of the emails so that he can see how much care there was for him when he was only a few weeks old. He's a very lucky and very loved little boy. Thank you.

Love,
Chris, Kat, Theo and Jakob

Theo Update -- 8.23.06

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 23:01:11 -0700

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to give everyone the latest update... Theo has had a rough couple of days. He has developed an infection, and while the doctors have quite been able to completely isolate it, all symptoms point to the colon / belly / gut area. He was doing well really well Sunday and Monday, and he was even able to have some milk on Monday, but then his condition suddenly worsened. He's back on the ventilator and back on morphine, his belly is distended and red and sadly, he seems to be in some real pain. He's on what one doctor called a "Nuclear Missile Assault" of antibiotics, and he's had what seems like every neo-natologist, surgeon, nurse, physicians assistant and technician at CHOP in to see him, and they remain an amazing group of people. The doctors are frustrated that they can't nail down exactly what is going on, and one of them said to Kat today, "He's giving us some grey hairs." Funny thing... us too. Personally, I'm just hoping to have hair at the end of all this.

At this point, they have stabilized him, his vital signs are solid (with the help of the ventilator) and he's classified as 'critical but stable.' They are watching him like a hawk to try to figure out what's going on. Here's what Kat and I have parsed out as the three possible next steps -- Best Case: They figure out what is going on and treat it. Next Best Case: They never figure out exactly what is causing this, but the massive amounts of antibiotics clears up whatever it is that is causing it, even if we never complete know what it was. Case We're Hoping Doesn't Happen: Theo's condition worsens (they start seeing higher levels of acid in the blood, the belly continues to expand, his platelet levels in his blood falls dramatically) and they feel compelled to put him back into the OR for exploratory surgery. Obviously, that's not a great option, but again, he is at CHOP, and we do feel that if it comes to that, he's got the best pediatric GI surgeons in the country working on him.

It is a very scary time, and Theo seems more fragile than he has at any time in the process, but through it all, he continues to be a real fighter. We've all noticed him giving us looks like "What the heck is going on here" look when he's been awake. The good news is that nothing that has happened so far will have any long-term effect, and, of course, while Kat and I won't forget this time, Theo will. And the other good news is, of course, that he is at CHOP which really is a truly amazing place. In other fun news, Jakob has been incredibly interested in Theo, and tonight, when I left to go to the hospital, I told Jakob I was going out, and he said, "Daddy see Baby Theo?" And he's been really wonderful when we've taken him into the NICU to see Theo.

As always, thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts, words, karma and prayers. They mean the world to us.

Love,
Chris, Kat, Jakob and Theo

Theo Update -- 8.19.06

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 13:52:36 -0700

Here's the latest Theo update, and it's pretty much very good news! Yesterday was his surgery. The doctors decided that, since he was going under general anesthesia anyway, they'd use this as a good time to remove Theo's extra toes, so, as Theo's Aunt Kara put it, Theo has lost his "twinkle-toes." We went into the surgery thinking that he'd probably have around 75% of his colon removed. The whole surgery lasted about five hours, and when it was all said and done, they found that the Hirschsprung's Disease only affected between a quarter to a third of his colon -- and that's all they had to remove. (They also took his appendix out, which apparently is standard operating procedure for this surgery.) Because they only had to remove such a (relatively) small portion of his colon, we're very confident that this will have no lasting impact on his life, other than a scar under his belly button which he'll have to figure out a good story for later on.

Right now, he's back on the ventilator as he recovers from the surgery, but we expect that will only be for another day or two at most. There are two concerns post-op. One is that babies tend to regress a bit after surgery, as their bodies aren't exactly built for such a shock. Two is that, since this is a surgery dealing with the poop-area, there is a greater chance of infection, but again, given that he is at CHOP, we're not overly concerned about either of these issues, we're just more readying ourselves for the prospect that we're not completely out of the woods yet.

We're still hopeful that we could have Theo home sometime around Labor Day. I'll post new pictures of him up on the web as soon as we have some non-ventilator pics. And in the meantime, you can see a few of the most recent pre-surgery pics.

As always, thank you all for your emails and calls and concern and thoughts. Knowing that we aren't going through this alone has been a huge source of comfort and support for Kat and me during this time. With any luck, we're in the home stretch, and we'll have Theo home and excited for visitors soon!

Love,
Chris and Kat

The Latest Theo News

chris@practicaltheory.org (Chris Lehmann) — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 17:11:20 -0700

[Here's the latest update. This one was written by Kat.]

From Kat:

As most of you know, our son Theodore Kenton Lehmann arrived 5 weeks ahead of schedule (August 2). As you may also know, Theo's dance card has been filled, mostly with getting through lots of preemie stuff. Photos of the beautiful little bugger can be found (as well as almost daily updates) on Chris's blog -- http://www.practicaltheory.org/

Theo has been filled with interesting anamolies, most notably his twelve toes, strange kidneys and other exciting things. However, until today, every weird thing has turned out to be not a big deal. Unfortunately, we've discovered that he has something called Hirschsprung's Disease. Basically, it means the nerve endings in some of his colon, aren't there. He is being scheduled for surgery next Thursday or Friday, where they hope to determine how extensive this is, and then fix it. Fixes range from cutting out a section of his colon, to rebuilding his entire colon and doing a second surgery in a few months. [Chris' note -- needing to rebuild the whole colon is much more rare, and we are very hopeful that we won't have to do that.]

On a good note, he's at CHOP, one of the best children's hospitals in the country, where they do these surgeries constantly. If all goes well, he'll be out of the hospital in about three weeks. I've been able to hold him for hours most days, and now that his jaundice has gone down, he's getting damned curious about what's going on around him.

We're sad that life isn't all that easy for Theo at the moment, but hopeful that it can only go up from here. Please keep us in your thoughts.

Luv,
Kat

[Chris again...

For those folks who feel the need to google all medical stuff, the best site I've found is this one:
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/hirschsprungs_ez/index.htm

Thanks for everyone's supportive emails. My apologies if I haven't gotten back to you personally, but please know that we've both read the notes, and they do mean the world to us. And I just want to second all of Kat's thoughts, but especially that Theo is, despite all this medical craziness, a wonderful little guy with a lovely disposition. He's a real sweetheart who loves to be held for hours, and the folks at CHOP are smitten, as, of course, are we. We are hopeful that this is the mild version of Hirschsprung's and that we'll get him home and healthy soon.

-- Chris ]