I’m on the plane back from ISTE 2016, after four days of more powerful conversations that I had a right to expect.

This was my tenth ISTE. There is something incredible about going back, year after year, to a community that has watched me grow up professionally and has watched SLA go from a scrappy little start-up to now three schools and a non-profit working to spread inquiry-based education to a wider array of schools. And this year, what struck me is how many people in this world have become a big part my council of elders over time.

And that’s the idea I want to play with tonight.

A council of elders isn’t necessary the folks who are older than you, but they are the folks whose perspective and wisdom can push your thinking in important ways. They are also the folks who you trust enough not to tell you what you want to hear or allow their words to be colored by their own interests in what you are doing. They are the folks whose lived experiences have given them a window into your life and your challenges that allow you to see yourself through a different lens.  And often, I think, some of the folks on your list have to be the people who aren’t there every day, so they can give you that “step back” perspective that might not be as easy to see to the folks who are in your life day-to-day.

And, most of all, they are the folks who listen well – and know you well.

I think every leader needs her council of elders. They are the folks who keep you honest. They are the folks who can show you a roadmap when you can’t see one. And they are the folks who can get you out of your head long enough to see solutions other than whatever solution you are currently grinding your gears over.

The trick is knowing you have them – and knowing you need them. In the end, having your council of elders is nothing more or less than the collaborative part of reflection. It’s about carving the time to reflect and remembering to have the humility to know that sometimes, we need others to hold the mirrors up to ourselves for us.

It’s too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day to forget all of that. It’s too easy to think that our challenges are so uniquely ours as to not ask for other perspectives. It’s too easy to think that people don’t really mean it when they say, “Call me if you need me.” But none of that is true.

I was reminded this week of how powerful my council of elders is, and how important they are to me. Thanks ISTE for bringing together so many amazing folks. And I’ve got new marching orders for this coming year to remember to check in more often with so many folks.

And, of course, I’ve got to remember to pay it forward, and remind the folks to whom I’ve said, “Call me if you need me,” that I meant it too.